The Hot New Mobile Device Isn't By LG It's...Nissan?!

Nissan has recently rolled out the Cube, a square-shaped economy vehicle to the US market. To catch on to the technology savvy Generation Y demographic, the advertising team behind the Cube is not focusing on the horsepower (or lack there of) or even how good it is for the environment (Being Green is still trendy, correct?). Instead, Nissan is calling the Cube not even a car at all. It is a "Mobile Device". I bet Scion is kicking themselves right now for not developing that catch phrase when they launched their brand in 2002 (Wait. Did people even text in 2002?).

Besides being an ugly car, you're able to customize it with several features, from a standard Ipod hookup to the bizarre mini shag carpet you can put on the dashboard. Hmm...I think another auto manufacturer that has a toaster-shaped vehicle in its lineup has been doing the same thing.

With an MSRP in the $13,500 range, Nissan is trying attract first time buyers in the 18 to 25 range. Maybe if the economy picks up they'll see some sales, if not this "Mobile Device" is going to be driven by the same folks who drive Scion xBs- the 55 to 65 demographic.

Keystone Light Advertises?!

Sorry I haven't updated this blog in...oh about a month. I have been busy, but in accordance to laws in the state of Utah I am not able to say what has been going on. Ok, I will. I'm in NH for a few weeks with the parental unit. Now that I've established that...

As I stated in a previous entry, I'm very nocturnal; it's not out of the ordinary for me to stay up past 3:30 or 4 A.M. This is a blessing and a curse. It's a curse for Ambien, because I refuse to take their drug that makes you eat sticks of butter at night, or in my mother's experience,cold meatloaf with your hands. It is a blessing, because I am able to watch commercials that don't usually pop on the boob tube until the wee hours, because of either suggested content or they can't afford a spot in prime time. For the past month, I've seen several ads for a beer that is near and dear to every college student's heart- Keystone Light. Personally, the ads are much better than what Coors has been putting out lately ("Cold Activated Can" It's called a beer koozie and you can buy one with adorable sayings like "Zero to Horny in 2.5 Beers"). The best ad in the Keystone Light series would have to be the backyard family outing where an elderly man asks his grandson to toss him a Keystone Light. Needless to say, the old man gets knock out from the can before he even gets a drop down his gullet. Pure comedy.

Gimmie Ya Five Dollar Foot Long

The jingle is a dying tactic in the world of advertising. However, even though consumers are so jaded about the media some simple jingles are able to rise up and become the next pop culture phenomenon. Subway's Five Dollar Footlong *giggle* campaign is just that. Everyone knows it, it's pretty easy for it to get stuck in your head when the phrase "Five Dollar Footlong" is uttered in a rhythmic pattern that makes me want to bust out my 'ill moves' and by 'ill moves' I mean bumping and grinding against my nearest friend so creepy guys that resemble the ones in the YouTube sensation "My New Haircut" get the hint that I'm not into them. Maybe the Five Dollar Footlong campaign is successful because of the hand motion that is involved with performing the song, or the fact that Subway can use the words "Five Dollar" and "Footlong" without getting those prudes at the FCC involved. Actually, if I want to get technical with the folks at Subway, I'm actually not getting 12 meaty inches of meat, cheese and condiments *giggle* for Five Dollars. With tax, that well endowed sandwich comes to more than five dollars. Although, the local sub shop near my apartment may not be as fancy as you are Subway and they may in fact be slightly more expensive, but at least I know where their meat comes from and they do address me by my name.

Stimulate the Economy by Stimulating Your Loins

There's a soft spot in my heart (or maybe labido)for Trojan's television commercials. Back in the late 1990's when I would watch MTV's Loveline, the classic Trojan Man spots would come on and even then as a sexually-naive pre-teen I knew they were great, especially the one in the barn. "Oh, Billy Ray you have the biggest zucchini in all of these parts!" Their last 'Evolve' campaign was brilliant, and now Trojan is banking on the trend of saying how our economy is going down the shit-hole as Borat would say. The patriotic commercial looks more like a GOP ad than an ad for rubbers. An American flag waves proudly in the background as our nation's bird appears majestically. The voice-over rings out proudly, announcing that Trojan has released their own "stimulus package" and that we need to "ride out these hard economic times." Trojan's philosophy is pretty much on point; even bad sex can cure the heartache you'll endure when you realize you won't have retirement money, or in the case of my fellow college students out there...still living with your parents until you're 30. Be American! Buy Trojan! Durex condoms are for Commies; you're not a damn Commie are you? I thought so.

Ladies! Eat Mo' Snacks- But Don't You Dare Get Fat!

Frito-Lay, a company that is near and dear to everyone's arteries has rolled out a new website and ad campaign promoting their Baked! (yes, with a !) Lays and Flat Earth vegetable crisps. A few weeks ago they launched the website A Woman's World, which has cartoon webisodes of a group of Sex In the City-esque women who talk about 'intriguing' and 'intellectual' subjects like trying to find a way to get into your skinny jeans, how to hide your credit card bill for your husband and of course the best way to diet. Umm...Does anybody see anything wrong with this? How come those feminist bloggers aren't discussing this? Oh, apparently they're spending all of their time ranting about Taco Bell being sexist and trans-phobic (see previous entry).

This is Frito-Lay's attempt at neuromarketing, which is basically analyzing a consumer's brain. The ad agency or marketing firm physically reads a consumer's reaction to questions regarding a product with the use of a brain scan. Yes, it's scary.

Will this new campaign persuade women to purchase these specific Frito-Lay products? Probably not(I'll stick to Utz thank you very much). Frito-Lay has certainly missed the mark on this one. It doesn't take millions of dollars in neuromarketing to know that all Frito-Lay needs to do is dip those chips in chocolate to make women buy them.

Warning: Taco Bell May Get You Knocked Up

Taco Bell has launched two ads (so far) promoting their value priced nachos. They feature young men who appear pregnant because they either have a dome of nachos hidden under their shirt or they've had so much to eat that they feel like they're expecting. I've been reading blogs that totally bash these ads, saying that they're sexist, disgusting and even going as far as stating they're transgendered-phobic because in one ad the man dresses up in drag to appear like a pregnant woman. Ok...give me a fucking break. I know I'm not usually political on this site, but come on! It's a 30 second television spot! One blogger said that to compare eating too much food to being pregnant is outrageous...it's comedy people, lighten up. Taco Bell is simply targeting their key demographic: young male stoners.

Ok...I'm done ranting. *exhales* I think these ads are funny, plain and simple. And yes, I am a woman. They're not trying to be sexist, trans-phobic or mock pregnancy. I bet whoever is making these claims of Taco Bell being anti-women has never had food from Taco Bell. I haven't had food from 'The Bell' in ages, but I certainly remember that you do feel bloated after, and then you have to take a major deuce that would even make the Octomom cringe.

Hang In There Jack

Sorry I haven’t updated you guys. With school and spring break, I’ve been super busy. If you were wondering, I did not go to Mexico or another stereotypical hot spot, but you might see me on a Girls Gone Wild commercial late one night.

During the Super Bowl (wow it was 6 weeks ago?!) Jack In The Box launched television spots that show their beloved mascot/owner, Jack being hit by a bus and soon after being rushed to the hospital. Hangintherejackcom is seen at the end of the commercial. What a genius advertising campaign. Before Jack got well (The latest commercial when he instantly gets up from his coma after he hears the name is going to be changed to Phil In The Box) the website was mostly user generated. You could personally send a video message of your thoughts and prayers to Jack, or even write a simple note. Interviews with Jack’s doctors can be viewed as well as the videos and notes from fellow Jack supporters. Even Jack's MRIs are on the site (you can't make this up!). What’s the point you ask? One word. Buzz. This campaign created tons of buzz, all to launch a new Jack In The Box website and rumors of a new logo have surfaced. The spots were aired across the country, covering states that are hundreds of miles from a JITB (Like the Northeast), but the spots don’t do the campaign justice. JITB is catching on to the new way to advertise- creating a blown up story to sell burgers.

Six Hour Power Shot Will Get You a BJ From Your Sexy Secretary* Individual Results May Vary

The beverage market has been bombarded with energy drinks/shots for the past couple of years. There's an energy drink that claims to give you wings, one that's for those who practice Kabbalah (I'm waiting for a Scientology energy drink) and a beverage for those who like to get Crunk. Not to mention everything in between (which is currently thousands). All of these drinks/shots (I'm waiting for the IV and energy enema) have one thing in common- they're supposed to give you more energy than a kid with ADHD whose parents don't believe in medication hopped up on FunDip.
Since this is such a niche market, companies need to separate themselves from the rest of the herd, and Stacker 2's 6 Hour Energy Shot is doing just that. I saw a spot for this a few nights ago on Comedy Central at around 2:30 am and I could not believe what I saw.
This commercial masterpiece starts off with a penthouse looking secretary being called by her boss because she is "needed" in his office. The desk begins to move and shake, a picture of a woman falls down and cracks, and moans of "yes yes yes" can be heard. After the "job" is done, the boss stands up, puts the 6 Hour Energy Shot on the table and says, "Now I'm ready!" Is it just me, or was this a total creative cop out on the ad firm's part? It's one thing to raise eyebrows with content that's tongue in cheek (no pun intended), but put some creativity behind it dammit!

Not Only Is The Weather Better in CA, but apparently so are the cows.

Apparently, if you're getting your dairy goodness from the great state that brought you the Packers and The Beast, you're not getting your calcium rich foodstuffs from cows that are allegedly happy. Since 2002, there has been a campaign from Real California Cheese with talking cows discussing how it's better to be a cow in California than one in Wisconsin and that they're sooooo happy. I don't know if it's just me, but I think the reason why they're sooooo happy is because they're hopped up on Prozac (Hmm I guess that's why my cheese on my hamburger the other day tasted strange).
I'm actually digging the new spots that show cows from different parts of the world sending in audition tapes to go to the Golden State to spend their days as a happy bovine. According to the commercial you can actually vote for what cow should be sent to CA. My favorite of these has to be the cow from Korea (I'm guessing South Korea, because I didn't see any propaganda with Kim Jong-Il in the background) who sings a song about California in a very thick stereotypical Asian accent. Music, stereotypes and talking animals; the perfect recipe for a commercial.

Wrigley's Yanks Chris Brown

Wrigley's Doublemint ads featuring Chris Brown will be pulled until he settles his legal issues. Brown surrendered himself Sunday to the LAPD after allegedly laying the smack down on his girlfriend Rihanna.
I hate the new Wrigley's ads. The Juicy Fruit ad with Julianne Hough (Who the fuck is she now? Oh yeah, Dancing With The "Stars") is awful as well as the one with Chris Brown. I miss the DoubleMint jingle and I miss the DoubleMint twins. Since you're nixing Chris Brown bring back the Twins damnit!

Advertising Trend: Googly Eyes

Back in December, Geico launched a new ad campaign with a brand new mascot- a stack of Lincolns with big googly eyes that pops up at random. The silent yet creepy character known as Kash was created by The Martin Agency. The spots have generated mix reviews, but that's like all of Geico's spots. Personally, I love the ads. My favorite is the restaurant spot when the asian waiter randomly shouts "GEICO!" in a thick accent at the end. Everyone loves stereotypes.

A few days before the Super Bowl one of my good friends and I were having a discussion about the Kash ads and how simplicity is sometimes the most effective. My friend, who isn't in advertising or communications, had an idea for Chiquita bananas. The spot would simply be a banana with googly eyes chilling out on a table. No audio; just a bright yellow, wholesome banana gazing at the consumer. Super Bowl Sunday rolls around, and we see an ad that has a banana named Nannerpuss with googly eyes on top of a stack of delicious pancakes. After the "What the Hell!?" moment, I had to watch the ad again and again. Sites have been popping up everywhere devoted to this weird banana creature. It even has a Twitter Page. The song "You Can Call Me Nannerpuss" is already available as a ringtone. Let me be the first to say that Nannerpuss is 2009's Spaghetti Cat.

HIGH LIFE!

Miller/Coors found a nice little loophole around Budweiser being the only beer company to advertise during this year's Super Bowl; buy advertising spots through local NBC affiliates. But a no nonsense brew like Miller High Life doesn't need to spend $3 MIL on some flashy 30 second beer ad that shows a lot of tits and ass. Instead, they ran a one second ad for Miller's nostalgic blue collar brew. The one second ad is creating more buzz than the beer itself. Playing off of High Life's new slogan, Common Sense in a Bottle, the folks at Miller/Coors believe all they need is one second to show what High Life is all about.


Watch the One Second Ad here