Six Hour Power Shot Will Get You a BJ From Your Sexy Secretary* Individual Results May Vary

The beverage market has been bombarded with energy drinks/shots for the past couple of years. There's an energy drink that claims to give you wings, one that's for those who practice Kabbalah (I'm waiting for a Scientology energy drink) and a beverage for those who like to get Crunk. Not to mention everything in between (which is currently thousands). All of these drinks/shots (I'm waiting for the IV and energy enema) have one thing in common- they're supposed to give you more energy than a kid with ADHD whose parents don't believe in medication hopped up on FunDip.
Since this is such a niche market, companies need to separate themselves from the rest of the herd, and Stacker 2's 6 Hour Energy Shot is doing just that. I saw a spot for this a few nights ago on Comedy Central at around 2:30 am and I could not believe what I saw.
This commercial masterpiece starts off with a penthouse looking secretary being called by her boss because she is "needed" in his office. The desk begins to move and shake, a picture of a woman falls down and cracks, and moans of "yes yes yes" can be heard. After the "job" is done, the boss stands up, puts the 6 Hour Energy Shot on the table and says, "Now I'm ready!" Is it just me, or was this a total creative cop out on the ad firm's part? It's one thing to raise eyebrows with content that's tongue in cheek (no pun intended), but put some creativity behind it dammit!

Not Only Is The Weather Better in CA, but apparently so are the cows.

Apparently, if you're getting your dairy goodness from the great state that brought you the Packers and The Beast, you're not getting your calcium rich foodstuffs from cows that are allegedly happy. Since 2002, there has been a campaign from Real California Cheese with talking cows discussing how it's better to be a cow in California than one in Wisconsin and that they're sooooo happy. I don't know if it's just me, but I think the reason why they're sooooo happy is because they're hopped up on Prozac (Hmm I guess that's why my cheese on my hamburger the other day tasted strange).
I'm actually digging the new spots that show cows from different parts of the world sending in audition tapes to go to the Golden State to spend their days as a happy bovine. According to the commercial you can actually vote for what cow should be sent to CA. My favorite of these has to be the cow from Korea (I'm guessing South Korea, because I didn't see any propaganda with Kim Jong-Il in the background) who sings a song about California in a very thick stereotypical Asian accent. Music, stereotypes and talking animals; the perfect recipe for a commercial.

Wrigley's Yanks Chris Brown

Wrigley's Doublemint ads featuring Chris Brown will be pulled until he settles his legal issues. Brown surrendered himself Sunday to the LAPD after allegedly laying the smack down on his girlfriend Rihanna.
I hate the new Wrigley's ads. The Juicy Fruit ad with Julianne Hough (Who the fuck is she now? Oh yeah, Dancing With The "Stars") is awful as well as the one with Chris Brown. I miss the DoubleMint jingle and I miss the DoubleMint twins. Since you're nixing Chris Brown bring back the Twins damnit!

Advertising Trend: Googly Eyes

Back in December, Geico launched a new ad campaign with a brand new mascot- a stack of Lincolns with big googly eyes that pops up at random. The silent yet creepy character known as Kash was created by The Martin Agency. The spots have generated mix reviews, but that's like all of Geico's spots. Personally, I love the ads. My favorite is the restaurant spot when the asian waiter randomly shouts "GEICO!" in a thick accent at the end. Everyone loves stereotypes.

A few days before the Super Bowl one of my good friends and I were having a discussion about the Kash ads and how simplicity is sometimes the most effective. My friend, who isn't in advertising or communications, had an idea for Chiquita bananas. The spot would simply be a banana with googly eyes chilling out on a table. No audio; just a bright yellow, wholesome banana gazing at the consumer. Super Bowl Sunday rolls around, and we see an ad that has a banana named Nannerpuss with googly eyes on top of a stack of delicious pancakes. After the "What the Hell!?" moment, I had to watch the ad again and again. Sites have been popping up everywhere devoted to this weird banana creature. It even has a Twitter Page. The song "You Can Call Me Nannerpuss" is already available as a ringtone. Let me be the first to say that Nannerpuss is 2009's Spaghetti Cat.

HIGH LIFE!

Miller/Coors found a nice little loophole around Budweiser being the only beer company to advertise during this year's Super Bowl; buy advertising spots through local NBC affiliates. But a no nonsense brew like Miller High Life doesn't need to spend $3 MIL on some flashy 30 second beer ad that shows a lot of tits and ass. Instead, they ran a one second ad for Miller's nostalgic blue collar brew. The one second ad is creating more buzz than the beer itself. Playing off of High Life's new slogan, Common Sense in a Bottle, the folks at Miller/Coors believe all they need is one second to show what High Life is all about.


Watch the One Second Ad here